Where is the Congress Narrative?

They call them the Bhakts, the ubiquitous Modi supporter who is willing (at-least theoretically) to punch his father in the face if the old man dare think about questioning 'Modi Ji'. & Bhakts have always clashed with the self-righteous liberal souls with pseudo (mostly) ism beliefs. The liberals identify themselves with many identities, you name it, you will find it - socialists, AAPtards, leftists, journalists, rationalists, leftists, Congressi, etc.

As we enter the election phase, the tiff has intensified to battlecries and bitterness. Leader & leaders are pitched for the post of PM-ship. But what is true is that this is a battle between Modi & the Opposition. Modi in today's India needs no introduction - hate him or love him. Modi is an independent discussion on to himself, he is not the subject of this piece. But he is setting the tone.
All the while for the last 5yrs the Modi narrative has dominated the Indian mindspace, mostly with positive stories around him. Open the newspaper & you see him smiling at you, go to the fuel station and he is still there looking at you, open the news and him again - an Indian, cannot miss seeing Modi in his daily life today. He has ensured it & all praises to his marketing dollars! But how about the competition - the opposition? Rahul Gandhi - the prince in waiting, the man with the right intent, what is he up to? Shaking one label after another - generally talking sense, mostly gesturing grand. But what about his party?
Cut to Modi again - the man has travelled far & wide, spoken loud & louder to maintain his shine but 5yrs, we have moved from iPhone 6 to iPhone XS - even your BFFs & other M.I.T.R.O.N change. Demomentization,  GST, Kashmir, Rafale, loud mouths, fake promises, unemployment, cheap publicity and many many more sit around the throne, yet the king is apparently safe.
What has the opposition done - yes Congress won MP, Rajasthan & Chhattisgarh and managed to wrest power in Karnataka, but the journey has been one of struggles and fumbles for the grand old party. & the unlearning has not happened.
I do not know if Rahul Gandhi contemplates this question - why should I vote for Congress - one answer or multiple answers - WHY? For Congress, the search has not even started - their relevance is lost or eroding. Counter that ask the 'Bhkats' and answers will be precise - nationalism, growth, Ayodhya, Kashmir, corruption free, strong, Hindutva. As many segments as many answers. Even the worst of Demonitisation & GST justified on intent and Rafale could never become an opposition narrative.
Yet, the Congress questions Modi - perhaps that is the identity they are getting reduced to - not even sparing the single voice of unity required in a war-like (even if created) situation. Where is the Congress narrative? Post Pulwama & the air-strikes, the Congress invariably put a collective foot in its mouth yet again - in a narrative controlled by the government and partly supported by the armed actions, posing questions that trivialise the events is a self-destructive move. How many terrorists died? Yes, the international media will question it, so should the Indian media - but the main opposition party trying to gain petty political currencies in an election year comes across as - well anti-national! In a war-like scenario, who will people prefer to vote for - a loud mouth but action-oriented Modi or Modi-questioning Rahul Gandhi?

The Congress & most of the social media opposition have created large enough echo chambers for them to be awed by their voices but puny enough to make an impact beyond the closed walls. What is more shocking is the baffling behaviour of anti-right thinkers to get into most unusual arguments with intellectual embarrassments like Vivek Agnihotri. They seem to have still not understood the well-structured hierarchy that the BJP has & people like Agnihotri are merely quarter-brained troll commanders. Not one acknowledging them but engaging them is what the thinkers on the right want and they succeed.
There is a general belief in the Congress circle that they are winning the Social Media narrative. I do not know, but perhaps the echo noise has got to them. The BJP has ensured that whether you are with them or not or merely a fence-sitter, their message reaches you (& done it remarkably well). The Congress has ensured nothing but shifting benchmarks to match the BJP. They are trying to fight a propaganda machinery with no understanding of the power of communications - sad that perhaps the party that once was spearheaded by the greatest communicator of 20th century, the Mahatma is struggling today to keep pace with one man & his ruthless ambitions. Hitler made and impact, so did the Mahatma - The Congress needs to get back to that identity once again - set the new narrative for Gandhi's India in Modi's India. 

'O Neta Kal Aana' Cryptic Message on Ganpati Posters scares the $#!^ out of Netas

Ganpati surrounded by Neta Mandli

Mumbai, one random day: India, they say treats its guests with ‘Atithi Devo Bhav’. & where else does this adage hold truer than when Bappa arrives to the tunes of Bollywood item songs in Mumbai during Ganpati. There are brands glaring at you as you stand in the queue for your selfie with the tusked god and then there are NETAS! Yes, the Netas from BJP, Congress, MNS, SS, NCP, TDP, BSP, CPI, CPI (M), CPI (Ass) and what not. There are more parties in India than there are gods.

So coming to the point, the Netas look at with you with those droopy over Black Dog eyes and gleaming as pearl teeth. This incident highlights the plight of one of these spiteful brother-in-law to an ex-MLA’s PA who woke up to find that his brother-law’s boss’ poster was marked with a message ‘O NETA KAL AANA’. The font was Comic Sans. The brother-in-law of the ex-MLA’s PA panicked, the ex-MLA’s PA sighed, the ex-MLA fainted! & the chain grew. Within 2 nights, of 1764 Netas had their posters smashed by the same cryptic message – that is a total of 2,53,900 posters in total (97.8% of total Ganpati posters in the city). This was cutting across party lines and everyone from corporators, to PM, to dynasts and relatives were none spared. Some of those whose poster got smeared were followed by the PM on Twitter.

No arrests have been made so far, though some marketeers claim, Netflix is doing this to market the Season 2 of Bhavesh Joshi Superhero (speculation). Whatever be the cause, this has sent the entire political establishment in the city in a flurry & huddle. Never ever, ever never, has anyone dared to torment our politicos in a similar fashion since the time Arnab did RaGa.

Most though are happy. ‘O Neta Kal Aana’ has a verified Facebook & Instagram account and 1000’s fakes. A not Mr. Bagga has also introduced a line of T-shirts with faces of your most despicable Netas available for the message. According to fans, it was high time someone decided to troll the poster boys of public nuisance on their own posters.

RIP Sridevi, RIP Sensitivity!

Another death, another spectacle, hollow emotions, primetime melodrama – this has become a repetitive template. With 800+ TV channels competing for idiot time loyalty, weekly challenges thrown by movie stars to promote their respective contribution to box office mediocrity and an entire universe of Yotube influencers joining in the plague race, the entertainment seeking man is forever starved for more entertainment.

Drug addiction? Nothing compared to addiction to be consistently entertained. News channels with bath-tub reporting create stories, but for whom? Rakhi Sawant has not one but 2 selfie video tributes laced with tears but again, for whom? Maybe the audience was not there, maybe the audience that sampled the content was disgusted with its poor taste, or maybe not.

Seriously, if husbands ordering bathtubs and lifeguards managing bathrooms in 5-star hotels is the level of humour that we have stooped down to, blaming journalists, blaming media or blaming Rakhi Sawant can merely be categorized as self-shit-swag.

My one definite contribution to society is to be part of various Whatsapp groups, society ones, friends, old friends, school friends, don’t remember their faces friends, did we know each other friends and some adjectiveless family ones. & many of them have been abuzz with news centered around Sridevi. The customary RIPs gave way to doctors prescribing how to shower to the usual conspiracies that you did not know about. That the tribute gave way too soon to Sherlockism is pardonable considering people move on with need for entertainment. Perhaps the tributes when they did flow were genuine.

But then came in the jokes followed by LOLs, RoFLs & emoticons that simply did not fit into the context of paying tribute to someone you loved. & we expect non-frivolous journalism & we expect Rakhi Sawant to act responsibly.

On none of these Whatsapp groups, did anyone counter such jokes with the same fervor that we sometime do while defending our politicians and their bullshit. Never once did the men (& women) who share such forwards reflect on their pitiful state of becoming such a slave to their desires to smiles, however tragic it is. We are just too used to live it by the joke.

Kalia, the True Bhakt

I feel like Kalia, who elected Gabbar in a democratic process believing him to be a ruthless demagogue. & till communities after communities fell under the hooves of his mighty horses and all conquering roar, I felt proud. Here was a leader, a man of tribe, who was feared by one & all. Here was a man of action who could cut hands of justice if it was necessary for a greater cause towards keeping his clan the most supreme.

& I, Kalia, the fiercely loyal, blindly devoted follower knew that I will always be safe, that I will always be fighting for a cause greater than a few worthless lives. What Gabbar says is the law, the law of the jungle, the law for the powerful, not a law that talks of justice & equality, not a law that aims to protect the meek & the weak.

It's a war out there and if Gabbar does not act, the weak & meek villagers of Ramgarh & adjoining areas in connivance of the law & order machinery will wipe us out. & in a war as holy as this, one needs to make a few sacrifices even if it is one of ours.

Who cares for law & order anyways, courts of law are the ways of cultures who cannot act. For us, Gabbar is the Judge, Jury & Executioner - & it is a fair system – six rounds of a bullet, 3 for life, 3 for death – fair & simple - & effective!

This is how it works, say I am sent for a task & come back defeated – now this is a serious offence – a sign of weakness, a loss of aggression, a threat to reputation. Does not matter if law & justice together conspire to beat me up? Can Gabbar forgive this? Should he? Absolutely Not! But he would be fair in his justice still, that’s why we idolise him for even if he’s the one who wields the guns. This is how the conversation will flow,

Gabbar: (pointing the gun at Kalia) Are you for the development of the tribe?

Kalia: (shivering) Yes My Baap, I have gone on so many missions with you

(Gabbar clicks the butt, but it’s an empty round – Kalia’s stance for development saves him)

Gabbar: (pointing the gun again) Are you a true believer in faith?

Kalia: (proudly displaying the black tilak on his forehead) I’m and I’ll kill for it Sardar

(Another click, but empty again because of Kalia’s belief in his religion)

Gabbar: (3^rd time pointing the gun) Are you a nationalist?

Kalia: (looks at his black brown uniform pants) I’m the greatest one that ever was

(Another click, empty again, Nationalism saves the day for Kalia)

Kalia: (relieved) Sardar, if there were bullets…..

Gabbar fires again & again & again: Questions Gabbar, you’re anti-Gabbar

Sambha sitting atop watching, gives a cry: Ghar Ghar Gabbar!!!

The tribe repeats in chorus: sabse babbar, apna Gabbar!!!

----End of Kalia---

The Lego & the Nation

It all starts in a pretty way – your Son demanding to have the Lego set & an indulging parent that you are, you complying with it. Pretty, simple! What’s the risk? It’s expensive, but when the credit card is there, the interest & the premium will pain you later. It is creative nonetheless & in the ways of amateurs, visionary too.

The promise of your Son, doing magic with the Lego is intoxicating, your dreams, far surpassing the child’s imagination. The child has already showed you the Lego Transform-ers and you believe in him. The Lego, your Son, the Transform-ers – Time meets Einstein meet Universe.

All so grand, all so good, all so euphoric, all so cute. Just that your child is called Modi…The Lego is unboxed in no time amidst the claps of the proud you & the child sets to work. You expect nothing less than Ram Setu really? The red pieces for economy, the greens for polity, the yellows, your favorite for sense & the blues for the society. The creator & the pieces get to work diligently. Night & day, day & night, the boy is at it and you can never get over the joy of his sheer dedication, his single-point calling in life. Destruction being the Papa of creation belief at heart, the child makes & breaks the brochure structures like Planning Commission in an arrogance of the one truly gifted. All too good, all so unique! Your boundless bundle of irrational exuberance! The red figurine toppled there, the orange figurine installed here, the GST blocks moving like Rubik’s cube that you have zero know-how of, the belief that the boys knows it all. The demonetization structure looks twisted, and your stretched out rationality is curbed because the Ram statue is grandiose. It’s your child after all, keep clapping on. & he has a partner in crime/play, the BFF all kids must have, the affable bully next door. The two of them together, the bulldozer & the architect, move the pieces with the zeal of a bull in a china shop and you, face painted in the tri-colour of nationalism, patriotism & religious fervor look-on, cheer-on.